Even with baby showers or long conversations with friends, you can never really be prepared for being a mom until you are one. The diaper cakes and arrangements of furniture is only the mental preparation of what is to come, but what is, may be different. It’s the moment your baby is in your arm that you are really preparing for your little one’s arrival.
The change is subtle at first. Your baby is born and things start to move very fast. Your little one’s schedule is tremendously demanding. Sleep deprivation starts to sink in and those emotions you tried so hard to suppress start to steep out. The doubts, concerns and questions… The questions are the most haunting. Am I putting on a diaper correctly? Why isn’t the baby smiling? What is my baby trying to say? Am I being a good mom? Why do I have so many questions?
It’s probably the most honest you will ever be with yourself. As a new mom everything seems so crucial. You are always wanting to do the right thing. One by one these questions are conquered by the belief in your abilities, but more importantly, your acceptance of the role you now have in your family as a mother.
Transitioning from your single self to a person with whom a baby relies on can be a challenging one. Even with family and friends around, this role as mother is something you go through on your own. I consider this the rite of passage into motherhood.
It’s the moment you mentally accept you are the protector and provider of this magnificent child. The role of a mother is many folds depending on what you decide it to be. It takes strength and courage to be who you are and raise your child how you see fit. As with anything, only you know the answer of those questions.
Have patience and compassion towards yourself. Know that love is at the heart of everything you do. Allow time to show you what a wonderful mother you can be until you grow into the mother you really are. As much as your baby is trying to survive in this brand new world outside the womb, you are trying to find your way as well. There isn’t just one way of doing, but there is your way so embrace the journey into motherhood. Allow yourself to make mistakes, to not choose the right things at first, and most importantly, show compassion to yourself when things are not as perfect as you want them to be.
At the end of the day, your baby wants to be heard, respected and love. As with any relationship, it takes time on both sides. It’s a learning process. Enjoy the sweet and brief moments you have with your baby. Be in the present moment with your baby as much as possible. That’s really all a mother needs to be… present.